Category Archives: new house

January 26, 2017

4 months…4 months! How is this possible? I know I say that all the time, but seriously! I have written a few times over the last several months, but haven’t finished any of the posts. Not one! I write to you in the pick up line at the middle school, or as I sit waiting at a doctors appointment, but they haven’t gotten finished or posted.

Well, grab a cup of coffee I suppose. Let’s chat! Where to begin? I feel insane really for all that I am about to disclose, because, this is novel material. If someone told me this was their life, I would think they were making it up. How could this amount of stuff so constantly be happening? Not sure. But… this is my life. And it is real. I think that this is going to be my life forever too. I mean, that it will forever be like this and that it will maintain this level of insanity.
Ok, well, I warned you.
So I just read over my last post. “Sitting on porch relaxing with my dog watching the ibis and listening to the ravens???”I want that!!!! Serenity now! I could remember that moment as I read over it, and remembered the peace I felt. I have moments of peace, but they don’t just find me. I have to actively look for peace and serenity. Since I last wrote, we did major work on our new, old, house. We gutted and redid the kitchen, and we started the process on a bathroom, as well as rewiring, painting and moving in. We moved in November 11, and sold our old home on November 17th. This house has immediately felt like home, which has been a very pleasant surprise. We have all enjoyed it very much. There is a shit ton of work still to be done, but…ehh, it’ll happen. We hosted Thanksgiving and entertained 30 people 2 weeks into our lives at this house. We ushered in December with our annual Christmas bingo/ugly sweater christmas party to the tune of 100 people (outside). It was awesome as always. We have such a great time with that party. All our friends and their kids and our families come. It is wonderful. We then celebrated Christmas and New Years…which brings us to now – ish. Remember that we bought this house because it had a second house on the property – for momma? Well, Mom and Dad moved up almost a week ago, into their sweet little bungalow. Moved is a relative term, but they are here and they have various belongings which makes it seem as though they reside here. It was quite a feat convincing them. My dad arrived kicking and screaming and putting on the tantrum of his life. He DOES NOT WANT TO BE HERE! But, he is here and since they are attempting this “move” for the second time (in a week) he isn’t acting quite as awful. My mom is thrilled to be here, to eat dinner with us, to be around the kids, but is experiencing sundown syndrome, where all goes to hell at night. She freaks out, paces, packs to leave, is paranoid, scared, has behavior changes, hallucinates, hears things, etc. That is hard and has been really tough. Tylenol PM is the answer to that so far. I have put her back on all her meds (my dad took her off all her meds- he didn’t want to manage them, and felt they weren’t doing her any good anyway.) I take her with me in the afternoons to go and do kid pick ups. We have been cooking together (she mostly watches or snaps beans for me or washes lettuce.) She has no idea how to cook anymore. In total, I am around the corner from losing my mom forever with in her own body and mind. That is where we are. She is lost. She wanders in circles aimlessly, picking up random things, having random conversations that don’t make any sense. It is becoming increasingly difficult for her to find her words, the right ones anyway. She still recognizes me. I am grateful. She no longer recognizes my father. She is positive his name is Dave, and he is a friend who takes care of her, and who is badgering her to marry him. She tells him all the time she is already married to Ron, and that she can’t do that within the catholic church. God Bless her. My father is devastated. This is the knee jerker. She calls him Dave all day long. She would really like him to go back to his own house. He is just visiting. Sorry Dave-O, I know you read my blog. Anyway. She often times thinks Dave, my father, and she, go and do various things together. She feels like the 3 of them go out to eat, to the movies, or whatever else. Her condition is called Capgras Delusions. Very interesting, and super sad.
Switching gears for a minute. So, as all this is going on, the milestones are still happening. My daughter just turned 12 last Wednesday. Bless her heart, she asked for a trash can, black socks that match, and a lint roller??? WTF! Dear lord! Anyway, My oldest has now been accepted into the 3 colleges he applied to! Exciting. We are heading up to the University of Cincinnati this upcoming Monday to take it in in the winter and to see the Lumineers in concert. This is what he wanted for his birthday, which is Saturday. He is about to legally be an adult…ugh….sigh…tears. I took him (because they still make you!) to his last pediatric doctor appointment. You know I cried afterwards right? My son is a man. Such a great man too. You know how awesome it is to be around your kids and think… I really like this PERSON. He/she is a great, and fun, and ethical, person. Not just my kid, but person that is going out into this world. Anyway. I adore his doctor, and she has loved him and taken care of he and his sisters since 2000. It was bittersweet. My Man child drove himself home after the appointment. **sigh**
Meanwhile, I spoke with my mom’s memory care team and caught her up to speed on mom being here and where she is at mentally, and she sweetly said, keep your momma comfortable. Meds from here forward will be for quality of life. This process has been happening very very quickly, and it will keep doing so. Enjoy your mom. She won’t be around too much longer. Especially not in the way that you know her.
I was driving… and crying. So, I had a little time to process and write down questions and I spoke to her again today. This time I was able to write down answers to questions I had, and ask questions without quite the shock of yesterday. I feel sad, to the bottom of my heart. Overwhelmed, and like somehow, this is all so unfair. I curse no one. I say little. It just sits so heavy on my soul. I just told my brother – he chooses to remain out of anything mom and dad related. Pretty much me related too these days. We will see what he chooses to do. I felt like he needed to know. The rest is up to him.
Anyway. I am grateful I still have time with my momma. I am grateful my dad is here, and I am so grateful for my husband and family that prove to be the Gibraltar of all rocks.
Blessings and peace. Hug your mommas.

September 19, 2016

Good Morning! It has been forever! Hard to believe so much time has passed. It has been a long,hot, summer. It still feels like summer currently although some mornings you are able to detect a cooler feeling or a breeze that doesn’t feel quite so oppressive. I have just been sitting on porch, enjoying a cup of coffee with my sweet dog, Nikki. We were watching the squirrels chasing and playing with one another, the ibis eating grubs or whatever sort of bugs out of the various lawns, and listening to the ravens squawk and pollute the quiet day with their loud, aggressive sounds. Moments like these are a blessing, because it means we are at rest. I get to stop…and take it all in. There is no school this morning as it is a teacher -in- service day, so my sweet nephew is over, playing with my youngest – who is so sweet to him. I am getting ready to take 5 girls to the mall to go Homecoming dress shopping – and I love that. I am thrilled that they allow me to be a fly on the wall, to hear the chatter, see the interactions, and listen to the goings-on of teenage girls. I am positive that I will miss this when they are grown up and on their own.
Since we last interacted, we closed on the house that we were under contract with forever. It is now our very own money pit! It has been so far, but we knew this would be the deal. We have had to rewire the whole house as it was still connected to live tube and knob wiring. For those that do not know what that is (I didn’t know) it an old timey electrical type of wiring that is no longer allowed by current codes. We closed on the house on August 31, and beginning September 1, the electricians started their work. They have been amazing and I am grateful we will have the piece of mind of knowing the house is wired as it should be so that my family will be kept safe in this modern age of much electrical use i.e. cell phone chargers, hair dryers, flat irons, computers, flat screens. None of which were even thought of in 1878 when this house was built and wired! We have been ripping out cabinets (in the kitchen) and tearing down the ceiling, as we realized it had an aqua beadboard ceiling. It has been a true adventure, and I am sure it is only the beginning! We still haven’t sold our house, and I think it may be a blessing as we still have a place to live as all this craziness is happening in the new house. We are showing it a bunch, just nothing notable to discuss in terms of offers. It’s coming. Lets see, what else? School has started back. Our county opted for uniforms for all public schools, and there was a big to do about it for a while, but honestly, I like it. I think the kids don’t mind as much as they thought they would either. It makes it easy on mornings when you ignored your alarm one to many times! My kids are now in their senior year, sophomore year, and first year in middle school. It is CRAZY that they are this old! My senior is acting like a senior/teenager for the first time. He doesn’t normally do things that require us to be “On” him so much, but he has recently. I did WAY worse stuff as a teenager, so I am grateful that a.) he is a normal teenager, and b.) it’s not that bad. He is good about hearing what we have to say and accepting the consequences without too much of a fuss. My middle is experiencing her first boyfriend, and she is having fun with him as well as her friends, and team mates. It is fun getting to watch her go through this process. It was fun for me years and years ago – would not want to do it again!, but it was fun. Now it is fun watching she and her friends maneuver through this maze of teenage pressures, activities, sporting activities, dances, relationships, parental pressures, etc. They are doing a good job. I am impressed with all the various kids in and out of our door. The adults of tomorrow have a lot to offer! My youngest is having a tougher time with transition. She is having a tough time deciding who she wants to spend her time with. She is transitioning from sort of “heard mentality” that tends to be middle school aged girls. She is figuring out who she is and she is very purposely taking the time to discover the different things she is interested in. She is bucking against girls telling her who she is spending too much time with or not spending enough time with. It is hard to watch her go through this, but I am proud of her spirit, resolve, and independent spirit.
Mom
Mom is having an increasingly difficult time. Things are getting pretty challenging. Time makes no sense to her anymore, so this process of “moving up here” seems like forever, and like it is never going to happen. It sometimes seems that way to me, so I am sure it is tougher when time and distance only confuse the process. She is misplacing everything…underclothes, jewelry, phones, meds, dog leash, shoes, toothbrush, etc. She is frustrated most of the time. Dad takes her out everyday and says she does fine while they are out, but they get home, she gets angry, and emotional. She is constantly looking for her lost items, that she is positive people are stealing from her. She is angry because she feels crazy, and or that other people think she is crazy. Her fear is that people are going to come and take her without me knowing, and putting her in the “nut- house”. She has all these “conversations” with people that aren’t actually around about their experiences with being “thrown into the nut house.” It’s sad. She and her brother are reestablishing a relationship with one another. I am so grateful. It is making her so happy. They have fought and been on terrible terms with one another for most of their lives. My uncle has been great about picking up the phone and being the one to make the connection. I am so grateful. My cousin and his girlfriend have been amazing also in terms of going over to my parents at a moments notice and acting as a diversion when things are getting really hard and tense. It takes a village!
That is the deal- Where we are at this moment. Life is good. Busy. Exhausting. Full. Hard. Rewarding.img_1254

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