Peek a boo April 6, 2017

My mom came out to play for a bit on Tuesday. It was awesome. I think it was almost more exciting to see my dad react. He is in that place where I think he feels like he takes care of her now, but “she” doesn’t ever come out for too long. I think that makes him feel like nothing he does will bring her to the forefront, so he just does what he needs to do. I’m sure I continue to try to engage her because… I’m not sure. I wait for her to re-appear I guess. I want to figure out what makes her re-appear. So on my way home from work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I stop at the Mexican bread store and pick up her favorite breads(elephant ears and conchas). Dads too (guava pastries). This makes her so happy. Dad too. Then we sit and chat a bit. I have been cleaning out my shed, and ran across a box of travel type games that have gone all over the country with me and my growing family. I gave them to my dad to engage with my mom. He initially was irritated as he said they would just keep junking up the house. But on that Tuesday, mom took out on her own a brain teaser, and worked really hard on it on and off for about 30 minutes. She told me Santa brought her all these toys. ( Sweetness) Any way. One of the things in there was conversation starters. If you aren’t familiar with this activity, it is a series of cards – probably 75-100 and they have different topics on them. Example, what is your favorite thing about your physical appearance? Least favorite. What was the most difficult thing that happened in your life and how has it helped you to be who you are? Some questions were easier and talked of a best friend, or a silly experience or a favorite color. She thought and thought about her answers, and on occasion would get a little lost in the responses, but I could see where she was going with her responses. She talked about living far away from her family and how hard that was and how it helped her to be more independent and her favorite thing about her appearance was her eyes. My dad who would normally balk at having to play a game for too long, wanted the game to last as long as possible. It was a sweet moment. I am still mostly Sis to her or Elin, but it is ok. I respond. My aunt is a tough ass (in a good way), and I gladly will respond to her name. Dad is learning how to do her physical therapy routine with her. This is good. The meds have been regulated and are now being taken in a scheduled manner. All in all, life is good. I am blessed.
On an alternate note, my son has decided to attend the University of North Florida in Jacksonville for college in the fall. We were all surprised as we were near positive he would be attending University of Cincinnati in Ohio. He said that after much thought and contemplation, UNF is where he is choosing to attend. His reasons were costs of in state tuition, being closer to home, remaining close to his little sister (who idolizes him and is generally besotted when she thinks about him leaving), a girlfriend that he loves at UNF, and Abue, were his reasons for staying. He wants to be able to stay connected to her. He and my mother are tight. How can any of this be terrible? It isn’t. It is wonderful. Sad often times, but wonderful. She has lived a long full life (still is), doing things her way. I read an article this morning on FB. It was the story of a mom who has recently lost her 4 year old son to childhood cancer. The suffering she is experiencing is unreal, as she will never see her child reach his full potential as an adult. It is a current loss and a loss for the future. This is a tragedy. I can palpably feel her loss, as best as possible without going through it myself. This type of loss is unfair. My Momma has had a good life. A full life. She still is. No complaints here.

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