Momma’s 72nd Birthday – June 9th

So Hi! It’s been a while. I feel like I think/say that often. It is the eve of my mom’s 72nd birthday. Weird right? Understanding the numbers of your parents age. I remember her 40th birthday. Bless her heart. Nathan – my brother and I went to Kmart to buy her a blouse for her birthday. We were BROKE, as a family even, on her 40th birthday. We would have been homeless would it not have been for Dave, best guy ever – apart from my husband. He provided us with a place to stay when we hit rock bottom as a family. I was in 7th grade. – I digress. Sorry. Nate and I went to Kmart, and bought mom a 2XL shirt for her birthday. Anyone that has ever seen my mom, knows she might wear a medium, and only because she has a huge chest. Otherwise, she is 120 pounds on a heavy day, and 5 feet tall on a tall day! She acted surprised, she probably was surprised, and she was happy. She has always been so sweet. She is definitely salty too, but sweet.
She is doing better in general. There are always people around, she is challenged, and interacted with constantly. She is mostly happy. Her nurse said 2 days ago that she is living her life in her mind from maybe 30 years ago. They gave her an updated “expiration date” of maybe 10 years from now. I know, that is just a guess. Pretty good when several months ago, they felt like she might have 3-5 years. This fact seems to irritate my father. I am sorry to air this garbage on here, but it is my outlet. I need to release this trash. He feels like we have “deceived” him. Yep. That is what he said. He feels that we, along with the social worker have tricked him into moving here. He is so angry. I am so angry. Life is so constantly hard. So hard. As you may have surmised, pop and I are not getting along at the moment. He has been awful. Awful to me, to my family, and to my mother. He also is great with her sometimes, but he is wearing me out. Life is already hard enough, you know? He recently tried to shame me…what the hell is that. Told me to shut up and listen to my husband. I nearly came unglued. Many other things were said, all equally ugly, and now our relationship has changed. I treat him professionally, as though he is that asshole co-worker, that I have to work with. I am almost to the place where I just call him by his name vs. dad, or pop. I am nearly there. He plans on taking her to Ft. Myers on Sunday for approximately 2 weeks – which doesn’t mean anything. He left with her for 3 days last time and was gone 6 weeks. She ended up in the hospital after a scary fall. She is happy here. He is miserable. I wish he would just go. I cannot afford to completely sustain her though on my own accord. We just assumed so much additional debt when moving into this house to help house them too. I have one heading to college in the fall (grateful) and a car to buy for the next child in line. This is not a guilt trip or anything else, just irritation that my dad won’t provide for her properly, and is about to do something counter productive to everything else we have just done to get her to this place. She was off on her meds, schedules, dietary, and anything else that required a commitment to a schedule. Anyone that is affected by someone with dementia knows that schedules are key for them. They need to know what to expect. It’s a form of muscle memory when your brain forgets. This is about to set us back so much.
Again, I digress.
So, I was going to take her up in a hot air balloon ride for #72, but $600.00 is out of my league for 4 of us. I’m sure that is a great deal too, but still too much for me. Instead, we are having a dance party! Yassss! Sounds crass and contrite I know, but mom is all about dancing to some Miami music/latin music. We have a handful of teenagers (that love Abue- mom)coming over tomorrow, and a few of mom’s friends, to dance with her, break open a piñata, take selfies with her(they love to do this with her and add all their crazy snap chat filters), and eat some cake! It’ll be fun! That’s the deal.
Besides that, the boy has graduated (how is this possible?), He is going on a month long road trip with his girlfriend beginning June 20th. They are going up the eastern seaboard up to Newfoundland. My middle child is traveling to France with boyfriend and his family in a week (oh my) and we still haven’t finished one bathroom in the old – new – house. I do love it here. Great house. Always a ton to do though. I am ready to stop…and be really quiet – and still. I desire quiet and stillness. In the interim, we shall see. Every major moment is seemingly happening right now, and I am hanging on for dear life. So grateful for the sweetest man in the world. I’m quite positive I do not deserve him – but I am so grateful he is mine. He and the boy (and several man children) are on a canoe trip down the Buffalo River right now. It is a yearly trip, filled with Godly men, that are quite salty (pardon me for saying that twice) as several of them are retired military. They are getting their fill of peace, quiet, nature, and men that love and listen to you with a inordinate amount of farting! Glad they are there, not necessarily due to the farting! Love those boys.
Anyway. Tomorrow we celebrate 72 years of blessings and life. Celebrating a life well lived. Here’s to a life well lived.
Cheers.
T

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